Stalking is unpredictable and dangerous.  Safety is key. A stalker can be someone you know well, or not at all. Stalking can happen to anyone. If you are being stalked, reach out as soon as possible. Call 911 if you’re in immediate danger. If you’re not in immediate danger, contact a CARE Advocate so that they can help you with local laws, a safety plan, restraining orders and more.

A stalker might:

  • Repeatedly call or text you
  • Obsessively monitor your social media
  • Follow you and show up where you are
  • Send unwanted gifts
  • Damage your property
  • Monitor your phone calls or computer use
  • Use technology, like hidden cameras or GPS, to track where you go
  • Drive by or hang out at your home, school or work
  • Threaten to hurt you, your family, friends or pets
  • Use other actions to control, track or frighten you

It’s normal to feel:

  • Fear of what the stalker will do
  • Vulnerable, unsafe and like you don’t know who to trust
  • Anxious, irritable, impatient or on edge
  • Depressed, hopeless, overwhelmed, tearful or angry
  • Stressed and unable to concentrate, sleep or remember things
  • Appetite loss, forgetful about eating or driven to overeat
  • Disturbing flashbacks, thoughts, feelings or memories
  • Confused, frustrated or isolated because other people don’t understand why you are afraid

What to do:

If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

Trust your instincts.

Don’t downplay the danger. If you feel you are unsafe, you probably are.

Take threats seriously.

Danger generally is higher when the stalker talks about suicide or murder, or when a victim tries to leave or end the relationship.

Reach out right now.

Tell family, friends, roommates and coworkers about the stalking and seek their support. Call a CARE Advocate (951-827-6225) or UCR’s 24-hour crisis counseling hotline (951-827-5531).

Contact the police.

The police can help you stay safe. They can also help you learn your rights. Every state has stalking laws. The stalker may also
have broken other laws by doing things like assaulting you or stealing or destroying your property. See California stalking laws.

Make a safety plan. 

Change your routine, arrange for a safe place to stay, and have a friend or relative go places with you. Plan what you will do if the stalker shows up at your home, work or school.

Document everything!

When the stalker follows you or contacts you, write down the time, date and place. Keep emails, phone messages, letters and notes. Photograph any property they damage or injuries they cause. Ask witnesses to write down what they saw.

Don’t communicate.

Don’t communicate with the stalker or respond to attempts to contact you.

Consider getting a restraining order.

Consider getting a restraining order that tells the stalker to stay away from you.  CARE Advocates can help you do that.


Adapted from: “Are you being Stalked?” by the National Center of Victims of Crime. Visit the Stalking Resource Center for more resources.


Make an appointment with a CARE Advocate now. 


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